It's Okay to Grieve
Some thoughts post-election night
U.S. Presidential Election Results from the AP as of 1pm.
I am grieved. I think that’s the word for it. I’m grieved that we have seen the worst of what Donald Trump can do to this country, to us, and we chose him again. I’m grieved that we have chosen to re-enter our darkest moments.
On the morning of November 9, 2016, I woke up to the news that Donald Trump had become the next U.S. President. I was joyful. I celebrated. I thought “we” had won. I’ve learned a lot since then. I’ve changed a lot since then. I’m disappointed that the rest of the country hasn’t learned more, hasn’t listened more.
I wish I knew what to say. I’m tired. I think we are all tired. Trumpism is a disease that has afflicted America for far too long. It’s made us all into worse people. I worry what further damage it will cause.
I’m concerned for my friends and family. I’m concerned for my trans friends, my queer friends, my friends who have already dealt with Trump’s signature brand of racism. I grieve for the women in my life. Donald Trump has made it no secret how he feels about them and their rights. They deserve better than this. This country failed them last night.
I went into last hopeful. I said that this is not who we are. We have moved past Trump; this will be proof of that. We have seen what he has done to us, and we want no part of it. Harris is not perfect, but she’s better than going back.
Now, I wonder how I could have been so wrong. What if this is who we are? What if we aren’t better than this?
In 2020, we watched as he denied the election results. We watched as he filed numerous lawsuits claiming that the election was “stolen.” We watched as his supporters mounted an insurrection against our U.S. Capitol, their hatred and anger fueling them.
Now, we are faced with an election that has not gone in our favor. I don’t think it was rigged. I don’t believe it was stolen. Those fantasies are comforting to say, but they don’t reflect what happened last night. Donald Trump won this election. He will be our 47th president. We are now living in the after—whatever that means.
There will be people today who tell you that you shouldn’t feel the way you are feeling. They will say it’s irrational, that you should just accept it and move on. And, if you are from the Christian communities that I’m from, they will tell you that it’s idolatry to be this saddened by politics. They will tell you that if you put this much feeling into politics, your focus is on the wrong things. They are wrong. The decision made yesterday has real life consequences. It will affect people I know and love. It will affect people you know and love. To deny this is to deny part of our humanity. To be political is to care about people. It’s okay to grieve.
I wish I was writing this under better circumstances. I am so tired, and I know so many of you are as well. I hope you can connect with the people you love today. I hope you can find some comfort. I hope that you will give yourself space to grieve today. There will be a day to rebuild. Maybe today we just need to feel.